Something for you -

I have to tell you all that it’s hard for me to know what to write here. I’ve been here for three weeks, and the bright, sparkley feeling of London has long worn off. Life here is the same as it would be at home, except at home I would have a social life. J I wake up commute an hour to work, I work, and then I commute an hour back home. I pick up some milk or bagels at the grocery store, and then make some dinner. I putz around in my little flat for a couple of hours, and then I go to bed. It’s not really as pathetic as it sounds on here… I promise. We live vibrant lives on the weekend, but five days a week, it’s a pretty casual-average routine.

It’s a very strange change. I’m not used to all this quiet, alone time and it has taken some conscious mental adjustment on my end. There isn’t much to distract me from the core of who I am, and I’m being confronted with things everyday. Deep questions run through my mind constantly… what do I want? Who do I want to be? What do I love? Who do I love? I find myself internally dialoguing with Jesus all the time. It reminds me of a verse my mom told me about in Isaiah- “In quietness and trust is your strength.” I don’t have many words to share with those around me, but Jesus and I have a lot we’re talking about. He has some important things to teach me here, and I’m trying to be extra aware of what He might be trying to show me.

I’m often tired… not from being excessively active, but from the mental workout I’m getting all day long. And even when I sleep, I’m working through things in my dreams. Almost every night, I dream about something from home, or a weird situation that involves it somehow. It’s all very different. I know that it’s good… it’s hard, but good… which is as it should be, I suppose. The beauty of life is felt the strongest in the deep layers of our souls, right?

So, to put your minds at ease, I’m okay. I’m even better than that on most days. I’m struggling through some things and just processing through others. I miss home… terribly. But I’m here, and Jesus is faithful to take care of me.